


Live

by Zianourrylovesme (orphan_account)



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Comfort, Cutting, M/M, Pain, Starvation, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-28
Updated: 2013-04-28
Packaged: 2017-12-09 18:25:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,381
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/776587
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/Zianourrylovesme
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry saves Niall.</p><p>Zayn saves Niall.</p><p>Niall saves Harry.</p><p>And Zayn watches them eat.</p><p>Happy fucking ever after.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Live

Niall stared numbly at his wrists, the scars that lay there, the pale skin that had been marred by time and its hardships, then he picked up the blade that lay jut on the counter above him, and slowly released the breath he had been holding.

The boys were out at some club, having left Niall thinking he was innocently sleeping in his room, not even thinking about the fact that Niall could’ve been staring out his window and absentmindedly dragging the nail of his right middle finger along the most recent cut.

As soon as he had heard the door shut though, his legs were carrying him into the bathroom where he gazed into the mirror one last time before turning his face away.

Grabbing the razor, he wasted no time, slicing as deep as possible into his wrists, once on each, then another for good measure, dropping to the floor not minutes later as exhaustion filled him to the brim.

His disgusting existence was about to end.

—//—//—

Harry abruptly stood from his solemn perch at the bar an tapped Louis’ shoulder, shouting his excuse for leaving so early over the music when Lou finally turned.

“I’m not feeling well!”

It was the truth, he had a bad feeling that Niall wasn’t okay, and he needed to make sure he was, because Harry loved Niall.

—//—//—

Running up the stairs to the boys’ shared flat, Harry couldn’t deny that the feeling was even worse now, and growing every second as he neared the door.

Barreling through it, he set about looking for Niall, working his way through the flat until…

Gasping aloud at the sight, harry moaned brokenly and dropped to his knees in front of Niall’s body, reaching out to rest a hand on Niall’s chest, hoping,

no,

praying,

that there was a heartbeat.

A shaky breath left his lips, and Harry lay his head on Niall’s chest, right above the place where the faint thump-thump sounded, tears of relief slipping down his face as he moved his hand down to slip his fingers in between Niall’s.

There was a heartbeat,

slightly weaker than Harry would’ve liked,

but a heartbeat.

After a few moments, Harry sat up, and went on autopilot, systematically searching through cabinets until he found what he needed, gauze and antiseptic, then he cleaned Niall up and carried the man to bed.

It was almost like carrying a newborn.

Niall was so light.

A few tears slipped through Harry’s mask, but he locked everything away, he had to stay strong for Niall.

He had to.

—//—//—

That night, Harry slept in his clothes, next to a shallow breath, and a sketchy heartbeat.

—//—//—

For the next week or two, Harry and Niall stayed locked away in Niall’s bedroom, an exhausted, grim Harry only leaving to cook,

although it was only enough for one.

Niall.

Niall was making great progress, he had color in his face again, although his eyes remained lost, and he was moving around as well, the casts having come off.

He was also eating.

Unlike harry.

—//—//—

Niall stood on the edge, gazing emptily out over the five story drop, and into the thick forest.

It was a miracle he had managed to lose Harry, the sweet soul,

Niall never did understand why Harry wasted his time,

he had left him behind in bed, careful as to how he opened the door, seeing as how it always squeaked,

a great signal to Niall that he was free to drag his nails along uncharted skin, bite his lip until it bled or Harry came back, and fantasize about how that old tie would match his dead face while he hung from the ceiling.

If this didn’t work, he could make a run for it.

Be forgotten.

Maybe even manage to live a while longer, before his stupidity killed him off.

He imagine how his blood would look,

spattered across concrete,

maybe the fans would finally get what they wanted.

—//—//—

“Niall!”

—//—//—

“Fuck!”

—//—//—

His sobs lasted for about 20 minutes, the sound of it wrenching Zayn’s heart, because his face wasn’t meant to be red and blotchy,

and his eyes weren’t meant to be dull,

his mouth shouldn’t have been letting out sounds of such deep sadness.

No,

his eyes were meant to be happy,

and alive,

his face bright with glee as he went about his day,

and his mouth should’ve been spewing out more curse words than a trucker,

or gobbling down anything edible,

like usual.

Like normal.

As he quieted down, Zayn rubbed his back, showing him that he was always going to be there, because they’re friends right?

Friends aren’t friends for nothing.

Zayn heard the doorbell ring, and quickly came up with a plan.

Picking Niall up, him being to light for Zayn’s liking, Zayn moved him over to the couch, laying him down, while saying,”Nandos is here, I’ll be back in a sec.”

Niall clutched onto Zayn’s shirt tighter, sniffling, and said,”Did you get my favorite?”

Zayn chuckled softly and nodded, unraveling Niall’s hands from his black T-shirt, and grabbing his wallet on his way to the door. Zayn opened it while searching through my wallet, so he didn’t see Harry until he bowled past him saying in run together words,”I swear I didn’t mean to fall asleep, Niall, I’m so sorry!”

Zayn let out a surprised yelp in between ‘I’ and ‘didn’t’, because he swore that he had heard the Nandos delivery guy say,”Nandos deliver for Zayn Malik and Niall Horan!”

Confused, Zayn poked his head out the door and looked down both ends of the hallway, only looking down when he heard a groan. Almost immediately, Zayn gathered that, in Harry’s haste to get in my house, he had knocked over the Nandos delivery guy.

His name tag read ‘Kevin’ and Zayn was immediately reminded of the group’s time on the X-Factor.

Zayn put out a hand to help him up, and took the bag of food from him, apologizing and handing him the money. Kevin dusted himself off, and eyed Zayn warily, saying,”Your friend makes his presence VERY hard to ignore, huh?”

And that was when Zayn laughed.

In fact, he laughed so hard that when I could see properly again, Kevin was gone.

Just like that, the mood had passed, and Zayn turned around, only to see Harry cuddling Niall.

The only thing he found odd though, was that they were BOTH crying. Niall was sobbing again,

the soft noises grating against Zayn’s ears,

and Harry was trying to hide it,

but every now and then, a traitor would abandon ship.

They were holding each other, but they still looked so vulnerable.

That was when Zayn had to make the sadness disappear. He walked back to the couch, and set down the Nandos, slouching down into the couch opposite them, watching to see who would notice the food first.

While he waited, Zayn decided go over what had happened earlier in his head, to see if he had…

Missed anything.

He had seen Niall running up the stairs, but something had struck him as wrong, so he had followed.

Niall had gone to the roof, and Zayn saw him swaying lightly,

probably from lack of food now that Zayn though about it,

his eyes unfocused,

then he had taken a couple of steps forward, his heels now balanced on the edge, and a grimace had crossed his lips as he swayed particularly hard.

Zayn had realized Niall was falling forward,

even though he had made no move to stop himself,

though somehow Zayn had also known he knew what he was doing.

Out of impulse, Zayn had shouted,”NIALL!”

Niall was startled, yelling out,”FUCK!” and stumbling backwards.

Running forward to catch him, Zayn had nearly succeeded to do so, until Niall’s body had hit Zayn and they had fallen. Niall had taken a few minutes, then rolled over, and Zayn had felt him looking, while he had held his stomach, trying not to groan.

Niall’s elbows were hard as hell.

Finally, Zayn had pushed himself up, and looked Niall in his eyes.

They had sent a shiver through Zayn,

they looked so…

Dead.

Zayn had stood up, helping Niall up as well until he was,

though unsteadily,

standing,

which was more like leaning,

next to,

more like on,

Zayn.

Putting his arm around Niall’s shoulders, whether to stop him from trying to do whatever he had been doing before, or to support his light weight, Zayn still didn’t know, they had quietly walked downstairs, to Zayn’s part of the complex, and as they had stumbled down the corridor, Niall had fallen,

so Zayn carried Niall into his apartment.

Zayn had lay him down on one of his couches, and went to find his phone, planning on getting Niall’s favorite food, so that he might eat something,

and hopefully,

start eating more often.

After Zayn had finished, he came back to find Niall gone. Having an idea where he was, Zayn immediately went to save Niall, and most likely, his life.

Again.

He had been right in my assumptions, he was in the bathroom, but Zayn didn’t want to figure out what for, though he pretty much already knew. His back was to Zayn, and Niall had been frantically going through my cabinets, mumbling something that sounded like,”Gotta have it, gotta have it” over and over again.

Suddenly, he had turned and slid down, so that his back was now facing the cabinets. Zayn had gotten a good look at Niall’s eyes while he fumbled with something in his lap, and they looked…

Greedy,

but they were still dead. Walking forward, bending down in front of him, and looking at his hands, Zayn realized Niall was holding one of Zayn’s biggest razors, and was messing with it.

Zayn watched as Niall somehow popped one of the blades out. Shocked out of his paralysis when Niall turned it over in his hands, and scraped his wrist with the tip, Zayn had immediately grabbed Niall, prying the razor from his fingers, and taking the rest of the it, putting both objects in the sink, and holding him by his shoulders, Zayn pulled Niall in for a hug.

Almost immediately, Niall had began crying.

—//—//—

Harry’s POV

Niall and I were sitting next to each other on the couch, and I was holding him, rocking him, while he sniffled into my shirt, completely relaxed as he did so. I felt the tears slide down my face as the memory played through my head from when I woke up,

how scared I had been.

I slowly came back from my dream, and rolled over, expecting to feel Niall’s hand where it usually is: resting on my crotch. It wasn’t there, and immediately I thought of him trying again.

I raced out of bed, in only my faded ‘relax’ jeans. Not even wearing underwear, because, at night when Niall’s hand… Flexes, my underwear becomes a problem.

I hobbled to Liam’s room, hobbling cuz morning wood’s a bitch. Opening the door, I peeked in, and asked before I even saw him,”Have you seen Niall?” His head appeared out of the bathroom, he was obviously naked.

He looked thoughtful for a second, and then answered,”No, but I think Louis did, go ask him, but knock first.”

He looked at me meaningfully, both of us knowing why. Louis had either been getting some or scheming.

He had been sleeping in a lot more than usual.

I nodded in thanks, and ran to Louis’ room. Knocking, I listened for Louis’ ‘come in’. When it was said, I opened the door, and popped my head in.

Louis looked suspicious, almost like he was literally hiding something, or someone, with his body. I shook my head, and asked him the same thing I did Liam.

He immediately looked concerned, and said,”Yeah, I saw him going to the roof, but he’s at Zayn’s place right now, cuz I heard Kevin call them. They apparently ordered takeout from Nandos ” And with that, I was gone, not even stopping to grab a shirt. I ran down the stairs, wondering why Niall was on the roof, and was running down the hallway at top speed, when I bumped into something. I’m pretty sure I knocked the person over,

and they might’ve rolled a bit,

but I didn’t care as I ran through Zayn’s door.

That part was a bit hazy, cuz I saw Niall crying and my protective instinct clawed its way out, even if I didn’t want Zayn to see it, cuz he picks up on EVERYTHING.

I think I remembered saying something…

Oh, I said ‘IswearIdidn’tmeantofallasleepNiall, I’msosorry!!’ or something like that, and grabbed him up in a hug, pulling him half on top of me, and half lying on the couch. Then Niall had started crying, I’m guessing for the second time, cuz his face was already blotchy, and his eyes already red. And that leads up to now. With Zayn sitting across from us as we held each other.

Niall was sniffling now, so I sat us both up, the only thing I was thinking then was, ‘He hates me, he hates me’ but I guess I was saying it out loud, cuz he put his hand on my leg, abruptly shutting me up, and said,”I don’t hate you, Harry.

I don’t.

Now eat something.”

I looked at the food, it was Nandos I still wasn’t hungry. Niall sighed, and pleaded with me,”Please? For me?” Giving in, I grabbed something, anything, as long as it made Niall happy, and took a bite. Niall smiled, for the first time in 2 weeks, and grabbed something too.

He smiled. Niall FINALLY smiled.

And it was because of me.

Zayn’s POV

Coming back from my thoughts, just in time actually, I saw Niall and Harry both reach for the fries.

I watched intently as their hands brushed, causing Niall to blush, but not very much. Strange, normally he blushes bright red,

maybe he’s low on blood…

Harry just looked away to hide his blush, fake scratching his face.

Interesting, it seemed they lived off of each other, which was good.

As long as they lived.


End file.
